Resist Hibernation

So much to be grateful for over the last few months, and so much more work left to be done. Also so many photos and videos to share below!

RUNNING:

My 10k training plan proved to be successful in getting me through the Boston race, though it didn't go as expected. I didn't hit my goal which was 60 minutes. But I knew that wasn't going to happen because during the last week of training, I was still running around 11 minute miles. Even with the adrenaline of a race, it was unlikely I'd hit 10 minute miles. My final time was 1:02:57 (about 10 minutes slower than last year). It was a difficult race to benchmark myself against because last year, it was my fastest race and personal best ever. I ran with a buddy again which was an awesome experience, but I also learned a valuable lesson around pushing the pace. Having extra energy during a race is great to shave time off, but not at the expense of burning out too fast and having your last mile be really painful and slow. In hindsight, I should have stuck to my plan and the pace I trained for. My total race time might have been better if I was steadier throughout the whole thing.

Next was the Abbott Dash 5k in NYC in early November (the pre-race to the NYC Marathon). Again, a frustrating race to benchmark against postpartum because last year I was coming off the high of Half marathon training from the summer and still in great shape. My time was 00:30:38 (vs. last year 00:29:37). I was so close to matching it! Major shout out to my husband Rob for running with me (side by side) and carrying my breastfeeding pumps in a fanny pack so I could pump immediately before and after the race. I physically wouldn't have been able to participate if he didn't do this for me. Regardless of race times, we enjoyed "racing" (and drinking) around Brooklyn and Manhattan chasing Fred and Kara during the actual marathon. They did an awesome job and we had a blast. In usual Jackie style, I was super inspired. More to come on that later.

Lastly, I just completed a post Thanksgiving, Conquer the Hills 5k race on Long Island. Not your standard 5k road race. Super hilly, all trails, in the woods. Had to wear special shoes for it! I'm happy to report that I finally beat myself from last year with a time of 00:34:35 (vs. last year 00:35:40). Ok, so I barely beat it. And the conditions were not even the same. Temperature was 36°F this year compared to last year's 13°F. And I was already a few weeks pregnant last year, so technically not a pre-pregnancy benchmark! Still a victory in my book.

CROSSFIT:

Also some major CrossFit accomplishments to report on. Once I got back to work from maternity leave, I participated in three Open workouts which I have never done before (competition style). One of them, 20.5, required a strategy in how you split up the movements (20 minute time cap: 40 muscle-ups, 80-cal. row 120 wall-balls). I ended up doing this WOD twice to try and beat my score with a new strategy. It was nearly the same the second time around! I think it was a good "report card" of my current fitness level and no matter how I sliced it, the outcome was going to be the same. Also a good learning moment for me! Also it was more fun the second time around!

I also had an unexpected PR on a push jerk. With some one-on-one coaching, I was able to go heavier than ever before with weight at 85lbs, which is a lot for me personally to get overhead.

NEW GOALS & THE MIX:

As for goals, I need to continue working on my weight loss. Slow and steady, in no particular rush. I'm at 156, pre-pregnancy is 150, goal is 140. So I'd like to lose another 16 total by the 12 month mark. I have quite a series of events coming up in the new year to help me with that.

I'm planning to run another Half Marathon in either May or June, in Gloucester MA again. Training for that will start in March. I'm planning to participate in Tough Mudder on Long Island in July for the 4th time. I was a little busy giving birth this past summer to participate (like literally the same week). 

And...drum roll please. I'm committing to running the NYC Marathon 2021. Yes, the full 26.2 miles. Not this coming year, but the next year. So 2 years from now. Which means I need to use 2020 to qualify. Oh boy.

The next few months will be about resisting the urge to hibernate and become stagnant this winter. Getting outside to run or making it to the CF box when it's cold and dark is difficult. My ideal activity mix from now through the end of February is 4x weekly, split between CrossFit and Running. Not every week will be perfect, and when I can do more because time permits, I definitely will!

Reebok Boston 10k for Women

Abbott Dash NYC

Conquer the Hills 5k - Long Island NY

Conquer the Hills 5k - Long Island NY

Conquer the Hills 5k - Long Island NY

CrossFit - 20.3 open workout - Bear Crawl

CrossFit - 20.3 open workout - Deadlifts

CrossFit - 20.5 open workout - Repeat attempt

CrossFit PR - Push Jerk 85lbs

The New Normal

When I became a parent, life as I knew it changed forever. While some changes are a fleeting moment, this was not temporary or just a stage, it was permanent. Sure there are various stages of childhood development, each with its own set of joys and hardships. But being a mom or dad is a lifelong responsibility and a mind altering experience. With the arrival of my first born, my daughter, I had to adjust to losing some sense of self, independence, body autonomy, time, and shifting priorities. There's a light at the end of the tunnel as the kid gets older and you start to gain some of this back. Having a second child is like someone kicked you back down to the "bottom" as you experience this loop all over again. My fitness journey mirrors this cycle in progress, hardship, and triumph.

At 8 weeks postpartum, I feel very different than the last time around. Some things are easier. My body has bounced back quicker. There was less recovery time. I've been working out and progressing faster with less pain. The scary parts of being a new, inexperienced parent do not exist. Some things are harder. I'm so much more tired. Perhaps because I'm older. Perhaps because I have two kids with conflicting needs to wrangle. Perhaps because I'm pushing so hard to maintain the lifestyle I had with one kid, with little compromise. 

I'm going to be honest. I'm finding exclusively breastfeeding really hard. With my daughter, it was difficult in the sense that it was new. I had to learn everything. With my son, it came very easy. I feel super experienced and have a complex system in place for feeding and pumping. BUT I'm so very tired. He's a bigger baby and seems to be nursing more often and in bigger quantities. Especially at night between 3am and 7am where he just seems so restless. We started supplementing with formula when my daughter was 4 months old (a month after I went back to work). I was planning to do the same preemptively with my son, but now I'm questioning if I should do it even earlier to save my sanity. OR just push through the hardship. It is (was) really important to me to reach this milestone.

On a positive note, I'm in week 3 of a five week training plan to run a 10k. I've been running and going to CrossFit, feeling good and grateful to move my body.

Week 1: Run 3 miles, Rest, CrossFit, Run 3 miles, Run 3 miles, Rest, Run 3 miles (long run)

Week 2: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 4

Week 3: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 5

Week 4: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 6

Week 5: 3, R, CF, R, Walk, R -->Race Day 6.2 miles (10k)

My goal for the race is 00:60:00 (vs. last year's 00:53:02). That means I need to hit a ten minute mile pace. I'm currently running between 11-12, with varying degrees of consistency and fatigue. It will get there with some more training! Or at least close.

Baby 2.0 Birth Story

At my 39 week appointment, my doctor and I decided that we didn't want me to go overdue so we planned a delivery for 40 weeks. We all expected this baby to come sooner since it was my second pregnancy and I had been showing labor signs since early July!

Very early morning of Wednesday, July 31, I called the hospital to check my arrival time. They said to come in at 9:45am. We had just said goodbye to P (staying with Nonno and Nonna) and were about to leave the house, when the hospital called and said they needed to bump me later and would call back. I was frustrated because it meant more time to get nervous. We decided to meet Drew and Maggie for a quick coffee near the hospital to wait, and the hospital called back with my new arrival time of 11am. 

Luckily, most paperwork is filled out in advance these days so we didn't have much to do admin wise besides sign some forms. Lauren arrived the same time we were checking in and walked right into our assigned delivery room with us to unpack our stuff and settle in for the day. 

Around 12 they did standard blood-work and started me on an IV of fluids for hydration. My friend Caitlin also arrived at this point to help. The friends all cycled out throughout the day between the waiting room and delivery room, but sometimes, everyone was in the delivery room at the same time talking and laughing with me!

At 1 they started me on a low dose of Pitocin (Satan's drug) to get contractions going. I was still hovering around 5cm dilated and 80% effaced at this point. Not much different than the last two weeks of pregnancy. 

By 4 in the afternoon, I was having regular contractions, but at a low pain threshold. I was still able to walk around and have conversations. They tried to break my water (giant metal needle), but couldn't easily, so decided to wait longer. So they upped the Pitocin dose. 

Around 5pm, Pietra and my parents arrived for a visit. She expected to see the baby and was disappointed, as well as concerned about why Mommy was in a hospital bed with lots of wires and machines. She made a few more brief visits with Rob before things progressed too much and she shouldn't be around anymore.

Around 6, I tried using a birthing ball to bounce, stretch, and open up my hips. I had to come off the ball after just a few short minutes because they couldn't monitor the baby well and my contractions were not getting strong or frequent enough for labor to progress.

Once laying in bed, the contractions got much stronger as the Pitocin level was pretty high and I wasn't able to move around which previously had been helping to manage my pain.

Around 7:30, they successfully broke my water. At this point, the pain got much stronger and intense with heavier breathing, clenching teeth, and yelling. The contractions really hurt, but felt less scary mentally (than last my last delivery experience) because I knew what to expect. At this point I had to make a choice on how to proceed. I could get an epidural or I could try the the water birth in the tub. But I couldn't go back on my choice once it was made because of how far along I was in the process and all the machine hookups. 

The epidural was the "known evil" while the water method was something I've always wanted to try, but unknown. I consulted with Rob and we decided the epidural was best which I received around 8pm. That part was just as scary as last time because they had little time to insert the needle in my spine between very short breaks between painful contractions. I remember wanting to pull away from the needle but being instructed to lean into it, which was intuitively difficult.

Within minutes, the pain went from a 9 back down to a 3. I could still feel things happening, but it was manageable. Pietra came in one last time to say goodbye as it was already past her bedtime. She went back to our place with Nonna and Nonno, and would not be meeting her new sibling that night after all. Within an hour, I was ready to go dilation and effacement wise, but they wanted to wait until I felt more lower pressure and the sensation to push. 

At 10, I felt ready and the nurse agreed. I had to make a quick decision about if only Rob should be there, or if Caitlin and Lauren (who were currently in the room) should stay. I decided they should stay. They helped hold my legs and other support (cheer squad). I'm really glad they did as it's a memory and bond we'll always share together.

My OB was tied up in another delivery next door, so the nurse wanted to get me pushing while we waited for her. I pushed once and she had me stop before proceeding because with another strong push, the baby would be out!

The OB came running in and had me push a few more times. I heard someone say "he" before Rob saw the baby or could announce the gender, so I already knew a few seconds prior that it was a boy. At 10:14pm my baby boy was born! I remember my eyes filling with tears as soon as I saw him as they laid him on my chest crying. When he was born, "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright was playing (the music was randomly cycling through my birthing playlist). They finished the delivery process while I held him there against me. 

They took him away to get cleaned up and run some quick tests while I caught my breath. When he returned a few minutes later, we were asked the name. It wasn't any easier to decide, even though we now knew the gender and could see him. We went back and forth for a good ten minutes with our index cards of names before deciding on a combination. Then Rob went out to the waiting room to tell those still waiting the news (Grandma, Grandpa, Maggie, and Drew). We named him Giovanni (for Rob's grandfather John and my Uncle Gio) and Robert (for both Rob and his father). We also just like the nickname Gio!

At this point, the friends began to file in for a quick welcome to Gio and to say goodbye to us. Once it was quieter, I got Giovanni to latch and we began our breastfeeding journey together. I immediately ate a protein box of cheese, egg, fruit, and peanut butter as a snack after a long day of little food. Starving is an understatement. 

ROB: [At this point, we needed to get the overnight bag from the Jeep, but the valet (that Jackie demanded we use early that day) had closed, leaving us without access. Drew ventured off to find the Jeep with Jackie's keys, but spent an hour searching the wrong parking lot before finding a security guard and getting some help. After retrieving the bag, Drew returned with both sets of Jeep keys and the Valet ticket, which made for some interesting problems in the morning. Seeing that we stole our own car from the valet and they had no idea.]

Now midnight, it was just the three of us. It was time to move into a recovery room where I would spend the next two nights. When I was ready to move, I ended up fainting from a drop in blood pressure when I stood up. They had to put me back in the bed and wait until I was stable again before moving. By the time we got to our room and got ready for bed, it was already 2am, after a very long day. We shared some reheated mac n' cheese delivery ordered a few hours back (smart move).  

The first night was a blur of every hour feedings between minutes of sleep. I had to wake Rob up to move him and back and forth to the bassinet as I wasn't allowed to fall asleep nursing/holding him, and it was difficult for me to get up anyway with all the pain. It was this same song and dance both nights in the hospital. 

The next day (Thursday) was August and full of visitors! Nonna, Nonno, and Pietra came to meet Giovanni for the first time. And Rob's parents came again to spend some time with us. Pietra brought her new brother her old monkey (from when she came home from the hospital) and a new blue bear with the hospital's name on it. Rob and Drew went out to get us an evening ice cream snack that we all shared together (pints of ice cream were passed around).

We requested to be discharged early as it was difficult to rest in the hospital. So we left Friday by noon and the real adventure began as our new family of four at home in Waltham. 

HEALTH & FITNESS UPDATE:

My last weigh-in before July 31st was 180 lbs. I was up 30 lbs total from my pre-pregnancy weight (150). Though I had gained a little weight in the winter and my ideal weight is closer to 140, which is what I'm going to work towards moving forward. At almost 3 weeks postpartum, I currently weigh 160. But as I've discussed before, the numbers do not mean much. It's much more about building your body and strength (and shape).

I haven't been able to do much more than walking and toddler lifting right now. But hoping to get back to my routine (slowly and scaled) in the coming weeks!

Excitement & Recovery

At the 38 week mark now and I can't help be excited about a few things. First, not being pregnant anymore. Secondly of course, meeting our new family member who will change our lives forever. Lastly and more related to fitness, kicking off the journey to recovery (again).

Besides my ankle injury, just recently this pregnancy has felt very different than last time. Up until about 34 weeks, I was traveling often and besides minor annoyances, mostly feeling well. These last few weeks have been different. I'm definitely feeling more tired, more achy, more mentally anxious. Maybe because I'm a little older this time around. Maybe because I have more responsibilities overall. Maybe simply because every woman and pregnancy is a different experience.

Physically, I'm up to 179 lbs and haven't gained any weight in 6 weeks. The same week of last pregnancy, I was up to 195. So I'm doing great on that front! And less weight to lose postpartum. But as we know from last time, losing the weight number wise is the "easy part", while healing, endurance, strength, muscle, clothing size...is SO much more difficult. 

My sprained ankle is mostly healed but still weak. I tried to run a few hundred meters last week, but it didn't feel good so I stopped. Probably a combination of not using my ankle for so many weeks, the actual sprain, and the pregnancy weight. In other words, running is still not happening until a few weeks after I give birth. Right now my routine has been mostly CrossFit, scaled, but going well. Rob has been helping me with some longer walks as well which is great for getting things into position.

It's difficult to sketch out a recovery plan without knowing the type of labor I'll have. Of course hoping and praying for the best and most healthy for the baby and I. And hoping not to be induced again. As I learned from last recovery, some things will surprise me (the adrenaline, being able to run sooner than expected) and some things will disappoint me (loss of muscle, loss of strength). I'm planning to join a local Box while I'm out of work so I can continue to do CrossFit. Other goals include a few upcoming races in the fall like a Women's 10k in Boston (October 14) and the NYC marathon 5k pre-race (November 2).

Long term, I'm planning to do back-to-back Half marathons in June 2020. I'm sad to be missing my annual Long Island Tough Mudder (right now! happening this weekend!), but looking forward to doing it again in July 2020.

Please keep me in your thoughts over the next few weeks.

55lb Power Cleans @37 weeks

Unexpected Setbacks

33 weeks

A race can go exactly as expected, sometimes better, and sometimes you stumble upon an obstacle in the road. Some obstacles are predictable and foreseen while you're training. But the unexpected ones can really mess with your head and plans. 

My April (second trimester) race was great! Besides the heavy rain and slippery ground in Central Park...I was exactly on pace at 11 minutes, finishing the 4 miles at 44:37. My May (third trimester) race was even better. With the nicer weather and shorter distance, I was able to pickup the pace closer to 10 minutes, finishing the 5k at 31:21 (only a minute shy of my previous non-pregnant time last year). 

Since then I've been keeping busy with work travel and layering in a mix of hotel gym workouts, some light running, and CrossFit when I'm home in Boston. I *had* planned on another race in mid-June...but that is no longer a possibility. We were hiking at the Delaware River Gap in late May and I twisted my ankle by stepping funny. It wasn't even a difficult part of the hike, it was the flat part. Then I twisted it another two times on the descent down as it was already weakened. Luckily no fracture or break, but a bad sprain. 

Disappointment doesn't begin to express how I feel about this setback. The doctor says at least 4-6 weeks "off". No running for sure. And other activities are proving difficult because of the now double modifications needed (pregnant + sprained ankle). These last three weeks I've only worked-out a handful of times (I tried swimming and some scaled workouts with a stationary biking). I already feel the amplified pregnancy symptoms (weight gain, lack of mobility, back pain). And mental health being the biggest issue coming off such a high of accomplishments, to not feeling anything like myself as my body continues to grow and grow.

Moving past the pity party...I'm trying to set new expectations. I was told I'll be tempted to run as the ankle feels better but should resist as chance of re-injury is high, especially with looser joints from pregnancy. 

One highlight during this "dark" period was doing the CF Murph workout on Memorial Day at a local Box (not my Box!) I was able to modify enough to make it work for both of my "disabilities" and had a blast working out in a large group again. 

April 20 - Central Park NYC - 4 miler

May 4 - Long Island NY - 5k

Large & In-Charge

Little P chasing me

Lots of pics to share (by chance and luck of having them)! Currently at the 25 week mark and feeling particularly large. I'm not having the same energy burst in the second trimester I had last pregnancy (though I didn't have a toddler at home last time either). Some days are to really hard to get moving and there's not much rhyme or reason to when I'll feel better or worse. Stress and lack of sleep definitely play a role in how my workouts will go. But most of the time it's just pregnancy woes. 

I have my "second trimester race" next week. 4 miles. Central Park. So I've been making sure to get some miles back into the routine. It's been difficult to balance strength training with running goals when my energy and time are so limited. Luckily recent trips allowed for more running outside in the warmer weather (though Boston is still chilly). I'm also not sure which is more important right now: strength or cardio. And neither is particularly easier than the other. Going with the flow in terms of what my schedule allows seems to be the best policy right now.

Writing my plan out on a calendar for the whole week in advance has been a great way to be consistent and leave room for forgiveness. Similar to Half training, plan for rest days, and move them as needed. When the opportunity arises, always choose the workout over rest. Rest will come when you don't plan for it, embrace it then. 

20 weeks

21 weeks

Squat Cleans

Toes to Bar...but more like knees to chest

22 weeks

24 weeks

The 20 week mark

Half way through a pregnancy feels like half way through a race. Crossing the big hill, the finish line is more tangible now. But still out of reach. You may feel more certain that you'll actually complete the race with half already behind you. But you're definitely tired.

The last few weeks have been filled with some positive moments for me. Specifically thinking about some heavier lifts (well relatively heavy...heavier than I expected). I was able to do 55lb power cleans and 65lb deadlifts. And some running sprints on treadmill (while on work travel) that left me feeling energized. While visiting friends in Alexandria, I was "pushed" (friendly push) on a 4 mile run. 

I haven't gained any weight since my last post, but my output level (as it relates to fitness) could be better. I would say I'm operating around 60% of what I could be doing. Last pregnancy, this dramatically improved further along into the second trimester and with the change of season. I'm hoping the spring/summer months get me closer to 80%. And more consistency. The nicer weather should also allow for more alternatives to traditional exercise, outside of a gym or class setting, to the outdoors.

I just switched over to maternity athletic tights. The photo below is probably one of the last times in regular workout clothes, and as you can see, I'm bursting at the seams! While my weight hasn't changed, my belly is becoming more and more pronounced. I've also noticed more fatty tissue collecting in other areas of my body (cool).

I have 3 different races to look forward to. All 5ks (easy?). April 20, May 4, and June 16. I will start "worrying" and ramping up my running in the coming weeks once I can get outside again.

18 weeks, from 2 weeks ago

18 week sonogram - Baby "Q"

I Am the Tortoise

17 weeks - 3 mile run

I was curious how I was doing fitness wise vs. my past self. Looking back to this same month in 2016, I was doing a mix of CrossFit and dance. It seems like my normal was around 5x weekly. Fast-forward this pregnancy and my mix looks a little different. With a toddler at home, I have less free time. Hitting the 4x mark consistently has been challenging (I'm doing it, but I couldn't imagine making time for more). And I don't really dance anymore because of scheduling changes. CrossFit has been my constant. And surprisingly, running during pregnancy is a new addition. 

Last time around, I was an extremely novice runner before pregnancy. I only ran a little in the first trimester and a little at the end of the third trimester (to relieve pressure). Really short distances. Most of the time it turned into walking.

My first work-out after giving birth was running. It was 3 weeks postpartum. 1 mile run in my neighborhood. Since then, I've relied heavily on running as part of my "come back" journey. 

This pregnancy, I've been running and racing, and hope to do so through the end, as long as I'm feeling good. I'm capped at around 3-4 miles because of fatigue, and my mile time went from a peak of 8:30 (hare) to 10:30 (tortoise)...but the turtle wins the race in the end, right?

In CrossFit, I never really got back to the weights I was lifting before. My body never quite felt the same in the regard. I've made progress, but it's been smaller increments. So my goal here is to just show-up. Listen to my body. When I feel good, push a little. When I don't, just keep moving and be grateful to be around others who support my health. 

16 weeks - Clean 45lbs

16 weeks - Push Press 45lbs

Safe modification to box jumps (step-ups). Just as hard!

Carrying Extra Weight 2.0

How did I gain 10lbs since my last post!? Easy. I'm pregnant! Baby whale 2.0 is growing and will arrive in late July, same as Little P. At least I'm consistent (about something). We're so excited and have been eager to tell people, but wanted to wait until a few doctor appointments. We also had a lot going on during the holidays this year that a big announcement honestly felt exhausting.

How am I feeling? Pretty good. All of my symptoms have been exactly the same as last time around (I can't believe that was 3 years ago already). Very tired, nausea, and headaches. But it feels more manageable because I've done it before. I'm hoping the same light at the end of the tunnel as I turn into the second trimester. 

I'm currently 15 weeks and 160lbs. I'm still going to CrossFit and doing short runs regularly, though starting to scale appropriately (mostly when I'm not feeling great). My goal is keep at 4x weekly workouts (hopefully more as I start to feel better and the weather gets warm again).

I'd also like to do one race per trimester. I already have my first trimester race under my belt from late November. And ones planned for April and June already.

I would like to say I don't want to gain any more weight than my first pregnancy, but I'm not sure if that's realistic (or if it matters). I'm growing a lot faster this time around (mostly visibly, like a weight shift vs. actual numbers). And clothes already don't fit.

I'm very eager for the winter to be over so I can get outside again!

January 3 @10 weeks

January 31 @14 weeks