Why does this happen so often? There's nothing inherently "wrong" with any of these methods. But there's one thing all these programs have in common. They're not sustainable. And they don't create reasonable standards towards living a normal, healthy, active life. Rob and I were arguing about this recently. His point was that sometimes people need "rules" (e.g. a program or diet) to jumpstart their weight loss at first. While I can understand that, the failure rate just seems so high to me, that it makes me wonder if that's the wrong approach from the get-go.
I'm a strong believer that in order to crack the code to live a healthy life, you need to work on your mentality before your physical body. One follows the other. And one is a more powerful tool to reach your long-term goals - which should be good health, happiness, and preventing disease. Not a beach perfect body. Not a pre-pregnancy body. And not some unrealistic ideal that doesn't match your genetic makeup.
It's actually really simple, but requires a ton of patience. I mean A LOT of patience. Possibly years before you see any results. But how many years are wasted trying unsustainable things and failing?
The secret is confidence. And confidence comes from self-love.
So how do we achieve this? Easy. A lack of childhood trauma, lots of privilege, therapy and drugs :-) Revised for real people: How do I start to tap into self-love? And how do I work on suppressing moments of self doubt, and even worse, self hate.
It's reaching a point where healthy behaviors are so engrained into your brain that you don't even need to think about it. In a way, it's tricking your brain to be happy. When you can reach a point where you're not worried about numbers and weight, but rather how you feel.
This is achieved through a simple formula:
Varied movement + Varied diet
With a dash of moderation
I'm not re-writing the book here. Nor am I a doctor or scientist. I'm just providing a layer of my own perspective. I'm not promising you'll be thin, but you'll be happy.
Varied movement
Find something you really enjoy. Running, cycling, swimming, a specific class. Maybe it's just starting with walking first. Now do that thing a few times a week. If you enjoy it, it should be something you make time for and look forward to. Now fill in the gaps with other activities. Maybe you're lacking a day that gets you out of breath (cardio) or a day that builds strength (like weightlifting). Maybe it's flexibility with something like yoga.
Keep moving - every day move your body in some way. It's never all or nothing. If your day blows up and you only have 10 minutes to exercise, do 10 minutes.
Once you get used to these habits (which by the way, can take years), not exercising feels like not eating. You feel sick. You feel awful. It becomes just as natural as planning to eat a meal or showering each day. FYI - it probably took me about 5 years to reach this point. It doesn't come easy or quick, but it does last a lifetime.
Varied diet
Strive to incorporate a variety of protein, fat, and carbohydrates into your meals. Aim to have less carbohydrates (and sugar) when possible. Aim to have more green vegetables when possible. Seek fresh, local, and organic options when possible. You don't have to break the bank to achieve this. Pick one thing in your fridge to swap out - start small, but start somewhere. Join a CSA at your local farm!
Don't have specific rules or restrictions, but use common sense. If you already had fries this week, maybe sub for a salad the next time around. If you know you're going to have pizza tonight, plan for a healthier lunch.
To jumpstart a weight loss journey, there ARE simple behavior changes to more quickly reduce your caloric intake without having to do much tracking or worrying.
- No soda - opt for flavored seltzer instead
- Reduce or eliminate sugars and dairy in coffee
- Reduce or eliminate fast food (if you currently get Taco Bell twice a week, start by reducing it down to once a week)
- Eat a large salad with protein BEFORE you plan to have a carb dish like pasta - it could help reduce your hunger and the need to binge on carbs
- Plan for snacks throughout the day - sometimes it's about eating more good things, instead of just eating less overall
- Reduce alcohol intake - I know, I know. This one kills me too. But I've always found it helpful to think about drinking for quality instead of quantity. Only drink things you really enjoy. Don't drink to get a buzz, drink to enjoy it. As well as avoiding sugary drinks with lots of additives.
- Swap for whole or multi grain options instead of refined grains
- Look for ways to reduce sugar in the items you're already eating. This is a big one - and sort of sweeping across categories. The perfect personal example I have is yogurt. I've always been a yogurt fan! But I had no idea that most yogurts were practically like eating a dessert. I made the switch to plain Greek yogurt and never looked back. I still add stuff into it, but I can control the amount. It still can taste like a treat, but at a fraction of the calories than the store bought stuff.
I want to be clear that I'm not mocking or judging anyone who's currently pursuing a specific diet. But rather speaking to my experience that if you have to think of it as "a diet", and you find yourself failing often, it might be worth being more patient with yourself and trying a more gentle, self-love focused approach. Through varied movement + varied diet.
I'm not 100% there yet either. There are moments when I think I got it...but in the end, doubt tends to find a way of creeping in. And I'm really hard on myself. I'm especially hard on myself about my postpartum body. I had two babies. The more weight I lose, the more pronounced my postpartum belly becomes. Without surgery, I'm never going to have a flat belly. I'm not knocking surgery, but for me personally, it feels like it's diminishing my worth as a woman to appeal to a modern societal norm. Good looking women have flat bellies. It would have been better to live in the Renaissance period because those women were thick :-) Do I hide my insecurities and supposed faults? Or do I learn to accept them, dare I say, even embrace them. Am I allowed to wear crop tops because they make me happy, or do I need to wear a baggy sweater in order to not make others uncomfortable about my fat?
Running Updates!!!
Since the last time I wrote, I wrapped up my 9+1 in December with an amazing Ted Corbitt 15K. It was raining pretty hard, but somehow, I took about ten minutes off my expected finish time. I guess I wanted to get out of the rain! With an official time of 1:35:49. But 9 seconds slower than last year (damn puddles!) But I did learn one very valuable lesson about being uncomfortable after a race. For the first time, our hotel was not near Central Park. I ran way too fast, I was wet, and then eventually cold and shivering. It took over an hour to get to back to a warm hotel. It was painful and an awful way to end such a great race experience.
This made me switch my November marathon hotel from being next to the Staten Island ferry in Battery Park in lower Manhattan, to much closer to the finish line near Central Park.
Upcoming - I'm running Washington Heights Salsa, Blues and Shamrocks 5K again in March (love that course and that neighborhood's energy and music!). And luckily, my application was just accepted to run the Brooklyn Half again this May. As a reminder - that's where I hurt myself badly last year. And had to therefore, pull out of the NYC marathon.
So many things to look forward to in 2023 and feeling great!
P.S. I wrote this whole blog post eating cheesecake on the train on the way to Boston :-)
P.S.S. I will continue to wear crop tops, FUCK OFF :-)
