The New Normal

When I became a parent, life as I knew it changed forever. While some changes are a fleeting moment, this was not temporary or just a stage, it was permanent. Sure there are various stages of childhood development, each with its own set of joys and hardships. But being a mom or dad is a lifelong responsibility and a mind altering experience. With the arrival of my first born, my daughter, I had to adjust to losing some sense of self, independence, body autonomy, time, and shifting priorities. There's a light at the end of the tunnel as the kid gets older and you start to gain some of this back. Having a second child is like someone kicked you back down to the "bottom" as you experience this loop all over again. My fitness journey mirrors this cycle in progress, hardship, and triumph.

At 8 weeks postpartum, I feel very different than the last time around. Some things are easier. My body has bounced back quicker. There was less recovery time. I've been working out and progressing faster with less pain. The scary parts of being a new, inexperienced parent do not exist. Some things are harder. I'm so much more tired. Perhaps because I'm older. Perhaps because I have two kids with conflicting needs to wrangle. Perhaps because I'm pushing so hard to maintain the lifestyle I had with one kid, with little compromise. 

I'm going to be honest. I'm finding exclusively breastfeeding really hard. With my daughter, it was difficult in the sense that it was new. I had to learn everything. With my son, it came very easy. I feel super experienced and have a complex system in place for feeding and pumping. BUT I'm so very tired. He's a bigger baby and seems to be nursing more often and in bigger quantities. Especially at night between 3am and 7am where he just seems so restless. We started supplementing with formula when my daughter was 4 months old (a month after I went back to work). I was planning to do the same preemptively with my son, but now I'm questioning if I should do it even earlier to save my sanity. OR just push through the hardship. It is (was) really important to me to reach this milestone.

On a positive note, I'm in week 3 of a five week training plan to run a 10k. I've been running and going to CrossFit, feeling good and grateful to move my body.

Week 1: Run 3 miles, Rest, CrossFit, Run 3 miles, Run 3 miles, Rest, Run 3 miles (long run)

Week 2: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 4

Week 3: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 5

Week 4: 3, R, CF, 3, 3, R, 6

Week 5: 3, R, CF, R, Walk, R -->Race Day 6.2 miles (10k)

My goal for the race is 00:60:00 (vs. last year's 00:53:02). That means I need to hit a ten minute mile pace. I'm currently running between 11-12, with varying degrees of consistency and fatigue. It will get there with some more training! Or at least close.