While breastfeeding has helped me lose the baby weight really fast, I by NO means have my pre-pregnancy body back. Sure, it feels good to be "lighter", but my clothes still do not fit and my once round, "purposely fat", beautiful belly is now nothing but flab, stretch marks, and extra skin.
The exhaustion is obviously driven by taking care of the tiny human, lack of sleep, breastfeeding, and managing a family / household. Work and career have not been factored in yet.
There's good news and bad news.
First the good news. I accomplished my running goal. I was able to complete the 5k race on September 24 (9 weeks postpartum)!!! My time was 34:48, about ~3 minutes slower than last year. However, I felt that I ran more confidently and held a steadier pace than last year. It felt amazing to pass other people, feel the breeze on my face, the sunlight on my skin, and the sweat on my body. I am so excited to work on upping my mileage to a 10k at the next opportunity.
Now the bad news. I went to CrossFit last week (baby free opportunity arose) and it went pretty bad. I was offered to scale the WOD and I was cocky and refused. Half way through, I couldn't lift the bar anymore (just the bar, no weights). I had to switch to a weightless PVC pipe since the movements alone were hard enough for me. My muscles and joints felt like jello. It was awful.
I was reading up on how your postpartum body can be weaker than your pregnancy body...and many of my symptoms align. When you're pregnant, your body is preparing for war. After birth, your body has just gone through trauma. Then, all your resources are put towards milk production and taking care of the baby. Nothing else.
I also had another setback. I wasn't sure I was going to share this, but why censor now. Fun fact: you bleed a lot after giving birth (in case you didn't know. I didn't know). Like you basically have to wear an adult diaper (Depends are awesome). I stopped at 3 weeks which is really good! And my doctor said I was all healed physically.
At about 8 weeks, I experienced a sudden and severe return. It was so bad I ended up in the hospital ER because I did not understand what was happening and the amount of blood loss scared me. It crossed my mind that maybe I damaged something from exercising too soon (I didn't). Or a blood vessel had burst. Or stitches reopened. Or an organ exploded. 12 hours later and many tests, all major things had been ruled out. They think that a surge of hormones caused it (wait - you continue to be hormonal after pregnancy). Super.
Long story short, I'm fine. But genetics must really hate me.
This definitely made me feel weaker physically and discouraged mentally.
As obvious as it sounds, my focus will need to be on nutrition to regain strength and exercise with a focus on toning. I'm back at work this coming week (ahhhh! too soon!) which should make both of those easier by providing structure and discipline.
Wish me luck.
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| Finishing the 5k! |
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| My biggest fan - Little P |
