The Year of the PRs

A new year has brought a new set of goals. 2024 is feeling particularly lucky to me. After a series of missteps (both literally and figuratively) and the general feeling of pending doom that I carry around like a weight on my shoulder, this year feels different. I'm not one to believe in miracles or luck. I think half of life is chance and the other half is determined by the choices we make. We determine our own destiny. 

As I sit here writing this from my hotel room, just a stone throw away from the Boston Marathon course, the night before the 128th most prestigious marathon in the world - I can't help but feel...well, lucky. 

Early in the year, I accepted my invitation to the run the NYC Marathon again this November 2024. This entry was earned from all the races and volunteering I did last year in 2023.

I've also been tackling my 9+1 status this year in a much more aggressive and expedient manner than years past. By mid-May after the Brooklyn Half, I will already have 6 races completed. My next race in NYC will not be until the Staten Island Half in October. A pretty long "break" in the summer months. In some ways, it feels good to be ahead of the game. But at the same time, some of the winter races (which were new for me) were not as enjoyable as I would have liked. They involved extremely early morning treks into the city - usually in the dark and very cold. 

I did enjoy the Manhattan 10k in February though because a friend kindly had my bib and hot coffee waiting for me near Central Park. Later in the month at the Al Gordon 4-Miler in Brooklyn, I unexpectedly ran into someone I know from my running club, the Milltown Runners, and we chatted the whole way into the city and back. 

In March, Rob joined me for his first time to run one of my favorites in upper Manhattan - the Washington Heights Salsa, Blues, and Shamrocks 5K. It's a beautiful course - uphill through the heights, with a beautiful view at the top through Fort Tryon, and then a sweeping downhill back to the Armory on 168th Street. This is not an easy 5K course. But somehow...I got lucky! I set a new PR for my 5K at 27:58, beating my previous record of 28:37 from the 2021 Abbott Dash. I can't believe after all I have been through, I can still shave time off a race. And quite honestly, and maybe even arrogantly, it feels like this is only the beginning for me. 

In early April, I ran the Run As One JP Morgan 4-Miler in Central Park with two other women from the Milltown Runners. Again, it was such a game-changer not to be alone in my crazy pursuits. Being around likeminded people who enjoyed talking about running as much as I did was refreshing. I haven't run this particular race since 2019 when I was pregnant with Gio (44:37) in the pouring rain with Fred and Kara (still one of my favorite photos ever taken with our grumpy faces!) This time - I ran an outstanding 8:50  pace with a finish of 36:25. Amazing. Lucky. 

Just last weekend, my daughter and I ran a 5K together sponsored by our local YMCA. It was cold and windy out by the water, but Pietra persevered! I had to do a lot of verbal encouraging along the way, especially explaining to her that we can do so much more than our minds allow us to believe. For those have seen the movie Luca, I borrowed "Silenzio Bruno!" as our race mantra. As much as that was for little legs, I think she liked the taste of accomplishment at the end. I have no doubt that I will be running a lot more side-by-side with my daughter in the near future. I'm so lucky to be her Mom.

But the luck continues - wait there's more! I have earned entry into the Brooklyn Half on May 18, the biggest Half Marathon in the United States. They let a small amount of runners into this race every year via lottery entry to help diversify the running course. We (I) threw Rob's name into the hat...and he got it! He was pretty mad at first, but I think he's excited to see what he can do. The thing is, Rob has natural talent. Given how hard I work, it's both exhilarating and infuriating at the same time. He's going to crush this course and set an amazing first Half finish time. My prediction is 01:50. 

This is ALSO my year to make Brooklyn my stand-out performance. It's not going to be the marathon, I'm being realistic. That goal is much more realistic (more to come on that later). My goal is get my Half time from the current PR of 2:12:18 - much closer to the 2 hour mark. I have enough Half experiences under my belt at this point where this totally feasible. It's going to come down to a few things.

I need to run between a 9:00-9:30 pace ✔️ 

I already proved that I can do this for 9 miles at Ted Corbitt in December, for 3 miles in Washington Heights in March, and for 4 miles Run as One in April. But can I hold it for 13 miles in Brooklyn this May?

Remaining injury free until May ✔️

My hip-leg IT band thingy started acting up again recently. But I took action quickly. Rested. Treatment. And seemed to be through the worst of it. I have to be really careful as it's always looming around the corner ready to show itself.

Pray for good weather ✔️

This will be my third go at Brooklyn and the weather has notoriously been extreme. During my infamous 2022 attempt when I got seriously hurt, it was 90 degrees (a runner died!) Last year in 2023, it was down-pouring buckets of rain.

And most obviously - ramping up my long runs these next few weeks ✔️

Since I've maintained a healthy base all winter, this has not been challenging physically. Finding time is a different story. But I confidently know what to do in order to ramp up to 13 miles.

My marathon ambitions this year are much more humble and simple. I'd like to hit the finish time I was supposed to hit last year. I should have run a sub 5 hour marathon. I trained to run a sub 5 hour marathon. Repeat after me - "I am not going to run the first 13 miles too fast this year! I'm going to watch my pace. I'm not going to slow down in the second half because I burned up all my energy too quickly." In other words, my goal for the 2024 NYC Marathon is to slow the fuck down...in order to finish faster.

But just in case this wasn't enough PRs, goals, and luck for 2024 yet...I did something crazy. Like really bad guys. The NYC Marathon also lets a small sliver of lottery entries onto the course. This year had a record breaking 165,000 applicants worldwide and they only accepted a fraction - 6,000 people. Somehow...Rob's name made it into the lottery. Somehow, the son of a bitch got this one too! 

Here's the best part: this year, the 2024 NYC Marathon happens to fall on our wedding anniversary - November 3rd. 

We should play the lotto or something right? 

So while I'm manifesting this year to be the year of PRs for me personally, I also managed to build meaningful new relationships through Milltown. My kids are taking an interest in running with me. And I gained a new running spouse - by brute force. I'm already beaming with pride of what I know he can accomplish (with my forceful push). 

I'm looking forward to cheering my friend Kristen tomorrow in the city that shaped me, the city the represents the first time I left home, the city that will always be a giant piece of my heart (and the reason I say "wicked"). I am so proud of her accomplishments as a runner, an athlete, as badass woman, and most importantly - as human being who worked really hard. I am so blessed to have her in my life and her spirit inspires me daily. 

As I sit here in bed, almost midnight - with the Boston Marathon course right outside my window, I have to admit there's small sparkle in my eye. A tiny flame igniting in my heart. And this feeling that I can't shake - perhaps one day, Boston might be calling me as well. 

Best Day of My Life

On November 5th, 2023, I came out the other side of the most difficult thing I have ever physically (maybe even mentally) accomplished. After many years of dreaming, training and failed attempts: I finally ran the NYC Marathon. It was worth the wait. I couldn't have been more ready than I was in that moment. As painful as some moments felt, every step leading up to 2023 was a learning opportunity for me. I learned about pain, injury, my body, and most of all - my potential. When I got into the corral the morning of November 5th, I had no doubts that I could run the marathon. I had completed my 20 mile long run 3 weeks prior, and I knew I had enough stamina and knowledge to finish successfully. How quickly or how slowly I completed was a different story! More to come on that. 

It was seriously the best day of my life. Full stop. It was also a giant party. I also really enjoyed taking everyone on my journey through my detailed social media updates. I was shocked about the outpouring of love and support I received. Often from the most unexpected people. I had a bunch of people reach out who I haven’t spoken to in 20+ years that were rooting for me. I'm talking acquaintances and old classmates who didn’t congratulate me on my wedding, the birth of my children, but were like... “woah NYC marathon”. That makes me chuckle. 

Rob and I were in the city the days prior for several events. Before I left the house on Thursday, I did my normal 6am run with the Milltown Runners, but treated it as a last “shakeout run”. A few of us were running the marathon on Sunday, so it was nice to have a group sendoff and chat some last minute logistics.

Then I headed into the city to volunteer as a translator at the Javits Center and pick up my bib and race materials. Once Rob joined me, we did the full expo experience including some photo ops, checking out new running products, and buying new orange socks for me – that was on my shopping list! I also participated in some more “community” based activities like signing a giant banner that was on display at the finish line. That was super cool to see a few days later.

On Friday, we went to Opening Ceremony for the first time – basically an Olympic style parade of countries and running clubs. We sat next to a large group of energetic supporters from Brazil in the grandstand, which was super fun. We should all approach life with their level of enthusiasm for sport. The ceremony concluded with fireworks over Central Park which felt both magical and ominous at the same time, thinking about the task ahead.

On Saturday, we continued our tradition of running the “marathon pre-race”, the Abbott Dash 5K, with Rob’s cousins Fred and Kara. I always use this race as a PR opportunity (in fact, Abbott 2021 was my fastest 5K to date). But had to force every bone in my body to hold back. I could not exert myself the day before the marathon, as much as I wanted to run hard and fast. I held back my adrenaline as much as possible and ran an average 5K pace for me of 00:30:49. 

After the race, I met with a friend I made online over the past year. Also a runner, also NYRR. We kept being at the same races and following each other on Strava. As a more seasoned marathoner, over the past few months, he had become a running mentor to me. So we made it happen! The German drank beer, and sadly I sipped water. 

Then things got crappy. I’m not going to lie. Saturday afternoon and evening were rough. My nerves were getting the best of me. Or maybe my strange high carb diet was making me feel sick. Maybe it was a combination of both, but I felt sick to my stomach. The only way to explain it was that I felt weak, fatigued, and sort of dizzy. The only thing I could think of was steak. I was hardcore craving a red meaty steak. I took this as signal that my body needed protein and iron. Even though that wasn’t on the approved list of items to consume. For note, I was trying to eat a low residue diet that was high on long-lasting carbs to build my reserve for Sunday. Basically, you need to carb load at specific rate for your body weight and expected pace, and avoid anything that could lead to extra body waste on Sunday (e.g., poop as one example). In other words, everything I enjoy eating like vegetables were off the table.

So, I decided to trust my instincts and ate a small serving of steak and greens back at our hotel, prior to our carb heavy pasta meal that was planned later that evening. With every bite, I literally felt energy and life returning to my body. It was crazy, and such a learning moment for future marathons.   

That evening I laid everything out and took the famous “gear photo”. I’ve taken this photo for all my past Halfs, but this was different. It was like triple the gear. It looked like I was going camping! But also, each item was so strategic. Each item represented years of preparation. Trial and error. Each piece was distinctly linked to moments of my training. Funny enough, the thing that stood out to me the most was not the camping gear. It was the fuel. 4 hours prior to the marathon, I was planning on consuming 30 grams of carbs. 2 hours before, another 30 grams. 1 hour before, 30 grams. And then 60 grams every hour I was running through a mix of liquids and solids (in my case, 5 hours of running). It was A LOT of carbohydrates. When I saw it all laid out on the bed the night before, it was daunting how much eating and how much running I needed to do. 

Of course, I didn’t sleep a wink that night. On and off, checking my watch every hour. Finally my alarm went off at 5am for a quick shower, get dressed, load gear, and off to the Staten Island ferry terminal in downtown Manhattan. It was surreal. 

The early morning trek to Staten Island in the morning was ridiculous. Subway, ferry, bus, walking. My wave time was 10:30am. After camping out, waiting, and being held back all morning, there's nothing like the adrenaline of running across the Verrazzano bridge. You try to slow down, but you just can't. When you come off the bridge, you get smacked in the face with a giant block party throughout all of Brooklyn - DJs, live bands, hand-held stereos. Hip-hop, gospel, reggaeton, and bagpipes. Everyone is involved and represents their neighborhood. 

Then there's the solitude and difficult incline of the Queensboro bridge which is a breaking point for many. Only to hear the craziest roar of people waiting in Manhattan on the other side. Like thunder between miles 15-16. The loudest thing I've ever heard in my life. And just when your legs are getting tired, you cross into the Boogie Down Bronx, and those tough people will not let you stop. Back down into Manhattan on 5th Ave through the Harlem jazz. These miles 23-24-25 were the hardest for me. 

Finally some greenery with a turn into Central Park with more flags, languages, and countries than you can possibly imagine. A right turn on West 59th Street for the final stretch. Everything hurts and there's nothing left in the tank, but somehow you cross the finish line. And immediately breakdown emotionally and physically. You're shaking so they cover you with a large orange blanket. You get your medal. It's all very surreal as you enter the post corrals to funnel runners out of the park. The funneling part was an additional 1-2 miles, but honestly very needed. The last thing I wanted to do was talk to anyone (yet). I just needed to BE for a little bit and my legs needed to adjust to walking.

I finished in 05:12:08. I didn’t hit my goal of sub 5 hour, but in that moment I didn’t care. I was just so tired and emotional. Hours later, I started to care. What the heck happened? Where did those extra 12 minutes come from? I had planned my pace mile by mile in an excel sheet! When I looked closer at the post-race analysis, it was pretty clear what went wrong. As everyone does, especially newbies, I went out way too hot on the Verrazzano bridge. And then I was flying about 2-3 minutes faster than my target pace for the first 13 miles. Therefore, as predicted and expected, my pace then plummeted to below my target pace. And continued to get slower and slower. For what it’s worth, from my exertion level, it didn’t feel like I was getting slower! I was pushing and pushing. When I looked closer at the data, my fastest mile was 9:43 and my slowest mile was 12:46. Clearly, I did NOT run negative splits as planned.

I cannot continue with a huge shout-out to my pit crew. I don't think folks truly understand what spectating and helping at this level is like. I've done it pretty much every year since 2015 - and it's A LOT of time, energy, and resources spent. These friends were out there all day for hours, followed my plan exactly to meet me in 5 spots, across 4 boroughs, and took 8 subways. They handed me critical supplies and their enthusiasm helped me get through each chunk of the race. 

This was the message I sent them the night before:

Just wanted to say thanks in advance to everyone making the trek tomorrow ❤️ I know not everyone is a runner and it may be crazy and hard to understand (trust me, I had no clue 10 years ago!) Which makes your commitment even more appreciated. 

We were reminiscing last night that we got married on NYC marathon Sunday 2013. Some friends who were making the trip from MA that morning had a lot of unexpected traffic and road closures, barely made it to the wedding. I had no conception of a marathon, let alone the date! And here I am, 10 years later, running it myself. Spending every waking moment of the past year thinking about it, talking about it, and putting in the hard work. Several years really. 

You guys know this doesn't come easy to me. I'm not naturally athletic. I have to work extra hard to overcome weight, asthma, allergies, pregnancy, postpartum issues, injuries. It wasn't an easy road to get here and there were many bumps and setbacks along the way. 

All of this to say...THANK YOU. Please try to have fun! Please take in all the excitement! I was always very emotional spectating (all these years!) Everyone has a story of why they're out there on the course doing this crazy thing. Try to remember that when you see 55,000 humans run past you. And over 2 million as spectators. 

Love you all ❤️

Can't wait to 🍹🌮🍹🌮... 🍺

My Dad also made a surprise last minute appearance (in the most crowded spot possible - face palm) at the bottom of the Queensboro bridge (see above - thunderous roar of people).

Post marathon: ate tacos (clearly) and drank way too much (obviously). I am proud of myself for immediately prioritizing protein intake as I was walking in the post-corral. I think being disciplined in that moment when more eating was the last thing on my mind had positive effects later in the evening and the next morning...especially given my poor celebration behavior that followed!

GODDAMN were the stairs difficult on Monday morning. Interestingly mostly going down the stairs instead of up the stairs. Especially the subway! I was even more sore on Tuesday, hobbling around the house. And my toes were majorly messed up - bruises, blisters, ongoing nail issues. By Wednesday I was feeling better. And on Thursday I went for my first run with the Milltown Runners - it felt great! Great training led to solid (and quick) recovery. 

Reflecting back now nearly 2 months later, I've been keeping busy! Busy enough not to think too hard! After many months of training, some of my time had to immediately shift back to prioritizing other areas I was neglecting, and in perfect time with the upcoming holidays. I've also been staying very active, but at a much lower intensity. Even lower than I would like, but somewhat needed for better budgeting of time...and honestly, healing. Especially those toes!

My current schedule looks something like this: 

• Short Run (3-4 miles)
• CrossFit
• Bike (30 minutes)
• Short Run (3-4 miles)
• HIIT (mix of bike + at home weights)
• Longer Run (6-8 miles)
• 1 Rest Day (usually after the longer run)

Last winter, I maintained a base of 6 mile long run every week, and it made a huge difference when I started training for the Brooklyn Half in the spring. This winter, I'm trying to push that a tiny bit more by keeping a base of 6-8 mile long run. This was easier throughout November and early December, but was more difficult to make time for near Christmas. I'm hoping to get back on track soon! And closer to the 8 mile threshold!

On December 2nd, I had my last NYRR race of the year - the Ted Corbitt 10K in Central Park. This was my third time running it and I had set a difficult PR goal of 1:30:00. This is an excellent race distance and course to set a PR. I did not hit my exact goal, but I did shave several minutes off previous years. I gave it my max effort and left nothing in the tank, so this definitely felt like a victory.

2021: 1:35:40

2022: 1:35:49

2023: 1:31:30

 

As the marathon excitement fades and more time passes by, I cannot help be left with an itching void inside. I thought the marathon would fill a certain existing void. But similar to depression, it's back, knocking on my door again. More to come on that another day in another post. 

For now, thinking about 2024. I already qualified with marathon entry because of all my work in 2023. If you asked me immediately after the marathon, I would have told you that I had planned to defer my entry to another year. THAT WAS A LIE. I am absolutely running it again this year in 2024.

Not all addictions are bad, right?

Trust the training

This is never going to come easy for me, is it? About a month ago I was silly enough to write about injury prevention in order to tempt the universe and create an ironic opportunity for foreshadowing. In short - surprise surprise, I got hurt. Up until this point, everything had been going mostly as planned and frankly "great". Until I was out on my 18 mile long run. I was actually making really good time until around mile 12 I felt a familiar haunting twinge from my hip to my knee down the right side of my leg. The same twinge that debilitated me during Brooklyn 2022 and the same twinge that cost me the NYC Marathon 2022. My fucking IT band. 

The pain passed, I kept going, I thought I was ok. I was even able to pick up the pace again. At my next fueling stop around mile 15, I told my friend what happened as she handed me my gel and fluids. She rightfully seemed concerned, but I didn't have time to chat or linger. It was a quick stop under 60 seconds. 

The next few miles were painful. Soon after at mile 16 as I turned onto a new road, the familiar twinge turned into a sharp spasm down my leg. Like a rubber band snapping. Luckily I didn't fall down (see: severe ankle sprain, May 2022). But man did it hurt. At this point, my body was in fight or flight mode: I was panicking, I was reliving past trauma, my hands were getting clammy, my ears were ringing. It was a bad news bear situation.

I had two miles to go and there wasn't any way to shorten the pickup point to where my father-in-law was picking me up. And I was too stubborn and embarrassed to call him to change the spot (sorry Bob!) In order to keep the pain at a minimum, and God forbid another spasm, I stubbornly began running a few hundred feet, then walking, running, then walking. Until I completed the 18 miles.

The next day I received treatment and was told to rest. But I interpret rest as well as a toddler interprets the word "No". By day 2 post injury, I was already biking, running, biking. Until day 5 rolled around - suddenly I was much worse shape than the day I was first injured. The pain took over every aspect of my life. Walking was painful, sitting was painful, standing was painful. Even laying down was painful - it was throbbing. As well as the emotional and mental toll on my morale and overall well-being. This is when rest was no longer a voluntary option but now completely obligatory. 

I rested for 5 full days. Received further treatment. Put my supplement and nutrition regimen into overdrive to promote healing. Did lots of crazy voodoo things to promote anti-inflammatory action in my body. I targeted the IT band with a rolling stick, then with tennis balls. I used ice packs up and down my leg several times a day (which by the way, is the only thing that actually relieved any of the pain temporarily in the moment). 

I keep thinking about what factors caused this to happen. Amateur move - it seems like my sneakers were shot. I lost track of it. I was wearing 3 different pairs and rotating them, and I guess the pair I choose to wear for that long run had more mileage on them than I realized. Apparently my adrenaline glands are also working overtime. Not the first time this has come up in my life (though maybe not that specific wording or diagnosis). The whole fight or flight thing is my normal state of operating. And after a month of reflection, I think the biggest factor for how 'bad' went to 'real bad' so quickly can be attributed to my lack of actual and meaningful rest the days immediately following the first injury. It's really hard to tell someone like me to not do what they want (and what makes them happy) when they "think" they feel just fine. And I would be lying to myself and to you all if I didn't admit that caloric burn wasn't a top of mind stressor that pushed me to get back to exercise right away (e.g. fear of being obese). 

As this was all happening, I was falling behind in my marathon training. I missed my 19 mile long run. I stopped going to CrossFit. I also had the stress of two upcoming races looming. This part is difficult to explain to non-runners. Races are commitments. Just like game and tournaments are part of sports, races are the only way running is a "sport". Skipping them is not a decision to be taken lightly.

I had a low-stakes local 5K that I had signed up with my family a few months ago. We all had set goals. My brother was running, my sister-in-law, my nephew, Rob, Pietra, and even Gio. I had promised to make time for a local race (on top of all my city-based races) this year so that Pietra could run with me. She's too young to be allowed into NYRR races yet. In summary - I didn't want to let any of these people down. Or mess up these plans that were very difficult to get on the calendar in the first place. 

I was feeling better, but not great. The pain lingered. It was constantly there in the background. I told myself that I just needed to get through the 5K. I would run with Pietra, take it slow, even walk if I had to. Then...I got there and all bets went out the window. It was a crisp, sunny fall morning - perfect running weather. I scoped out the competitor - my chances were good, especially by gender. So I "took it easy" by placing first in my gender and age division. My toxic trait is collecting medals. 

Later that day, the pain came back with a vengeance. Back to icing, hydration, powders, pills, and voodoo. 

Now with that fuck up out of the way, I had to refocus my attention on the next hurdle ahead. Race #2 - the Staten Island Half. This one was not low-stakes. This is my 7th race of the 9+1 program to qualify for next year. There simply are no other races that I can run this year - it had to be this one. I had always planned on doing this one because the timing falls perfectly into most NYC marathon training plans. Most people are doing a "step back" week around early October after they tackled their 18-19 mile long run. It's funny to type that a Half Marathon is now low mileage - but it's true. Trust the training. 

My voodoo regimen (enjoying this term now) became extreme, but with sleep levels not ideal (and continuing to be lacking even today). 

I was now 2 1/2 weeks post injury taking the train into Manhattan to pick up my race bib. For the first time (ever!), the whole family came. I was moaning on the train, I was moaning as we walked around the city...if anyone had witnessed this, they had to think "there's no way this girl is running a half tomorrow." And then it gets better. As we were galavanting around my left big toe starting to hurt. It got worse and worse as the day went on. Upon inspection at the hotel, I discovered that the nail had lifted from the toe bed. It was also bruised. I'm not exactly sure how I got runners toe (again) if I had been laying off the running. Perhaps from all the city walking coming off so much rest. This was madness. Rob helped me tape the toe down to help reduce pain and get through the night. We taped it down pretty snuggly the next morning as well before the race. But I could feel a zing of pain with each step. It almost felt swollen as well, rubbing against the inside of my shoes making the whole situation worse. 

The next morning, with husband and two small kids in tow, we boarded the Staten Island ferry from downtown Manhattan before dawn. We got to see the sun rise over the Statue of Liberty together aboard the ferry - it was a moment. Between all the setbacks I experienced and then feeling the warmth of my family's support and presence nearby. 

What happened on those roads in Staten Island can only be described as a miracle. The adrenaline must have kicked in because I went out guns blazing. I ran a consistent and solid race. I had to slow down a hair towards the end because the pain started saying "hello old friend". It wasn't my best Half time, and it certainly wasn't a PR, but it wasn't terrible either (like it was supposed to be). 

I was expecting to have really damaged my body. The risk of injury was so high. The risk of losing the marathon again was so high. But somehow, I was OK. The pain did not come back stronger. It started to fade little by little. I've been wearing Birkenstocks (even in the cold!) for two weeks now, and my toe seems to have healed. Instead of just icing, I started feeling ok taking baths again - so I started incorporating salt, and hot/cold therapy. The hot was too painful the weeks prior.

I'm now about a month out from the original injury. I conquered a few battles and additional setbacks. And I seemed to have navigated some risky situations without worsening my situation greatly.

Now: a new decision was looming over me. Do I do one last long run before the marathon? Do I go back to the training plan and do my 20 miler? Do I just rest for a full month until the marathon? I had no data to know the right thing to do. And I was receiving conflicting advice. Any marathon runner will tell you the 20 mile run is important. When you ask them why...it's sort of a "Oh, you'll see why" response with a smirk. 

Spoiler alert: I did the 20 mile run (of course I did, did you think I was going to rest?) And now I know why it's important. I thought I was tired running 14 miles. I was wrong. I thought I was tired running 15 miles. I was definitely wrong. 16 - NOPE. 17 - NEGATIVE. 18 - HOW CUTE. 

I think I was hallucinating running 20 miles. It was 4 full hours of running with no breaks, no slow-downs - just constant pounding. The mental grit and physical drive required to cross that threshold is astounding (even if it's mentally driven...because really, how different is 19 from 20 miles). I came out of that run a different person. 

If I got through it and didn't get hurt again. The plan is to now taper and rest for the next 3 weeks pre-marathon. How are there only 3 weeks left?! I thought for sure these next few days were going to be brutal for pain...but they haven't. While I want to say none of this makes sense. It actually does. Trust the training. My recovery can only somewhat be credited to my proactive behaviors over the past month in order to expedite the healing process. But really, the foundation I've built this past year deserves so much more credit. The strength was always there, even if it got hurt. And once I let my body forgive itself, it went right back to being strong again. 

Local 5K Long Island with the family

Victory at the Staten Island Half

Critical Weeks of Preparation

With less than 7 weeks to go until the NYC Marathon, my heart is filled with excitement, anticipation, and definitely fear. It's hard to believe that with 7 weeks left, I only have 3 long runs left in my training plan (18, 19, and 20 milers). While the past 6 months have been important foundation building (heck the past 9 years!), the next few weeks are absolutely critical. 

But three more long runs doesn't just mean three more times I gear up, fuel up, lace my shoes, and set my alarm for 4am. It means I only have three more chances to "get it right". It's not just about putting in the mileage. It's much more complicated than that.

On the top of the "complicated list" is scheduling constraints. As the runs get longer, the time required out of my schedule becomes more demanding. Makes sense. But there are other components. I designed a 25 week training plan while others usually do 16-18 weeks. My plan incorporated more rest between long runs and more cross-training than most. This design was an effort to help prevent my reoccurring injuries from last year that halted my marathon pursuit. For most of my training up until this point, I was "ahead" of everyone else. When I saw people on Strava starting out at 4-6 miles, I was already running 13 coming off the Brooklyn Half at the end of May. And so on, and so forth, for the whole summer. But now the gap has narrowed (intentionally), and I no longer feel "ahead". Therefore, the stakes feel higher. Less room for error.

The other scheduling challenge I'm facing is that as these runs get longer, the recovery time (pre and post) also become more important. It's becoming increasingly difficult to make it to CrossFit, which I love, and has been a critical part of getting stronger and being a more well-rounded athlete. If I don't make it to a Monday class (for whatever life reason - kids, work, sick), my long run on Thursday is now in jeopardy. I would be too sore to do CrossFit a later day, any closer to Thursday. And at this point in the game, I have to prioritize running.

Next comes fueling concerns. I'm still trying to figure out how to adequately consume enough carbs, salt, and fluid of course, as to not run at a deficit. You do not run a marathon to burn calories. Essentially I need to be putting the calories back in that I'm burning from running (and then some!). I have dramatically been under-fueling throughout my training, but it didn't really hit me or matter until last week during my 17 mile run. I experienced what can only be described as metabolic shock a few hours after my run. Shaking, muscles, pounding headache hallucinating, completely unable to lift my head from the pillow. Scary stuff.

I think the thing most people don't realize (including myself) is the compounding effect when you're hitting that higher mileage. For a Half, you can kind of "wing" the fueling because before it matters, the race is over. For a marathon, you're already fueling for miles 0-6 an hour before your run begins. And 6-10 as your run actually starts. By the time you get to that Half point, you better have already consumed what you needed for 13+. This is all very new to me. 

While this has been important to me this whole time (re: 2022 disaster), I will be even more focused on injury prevention and reduced risk-taking. I know, sounds boring! But now more than ever, I need to make sure I don't aggravate my IT band, my hip, or my weak left ankle with anything deemed "unnecessary" or too risky. For example, I did not feel comfortable helping Rob place and remove the canoe on top of the Jeep this past weekend while we were camping. Too many opportunities for a misstep. 

And lastly, gear prep. What clothing and shoes am I going to wear on the big day? Will my layers be right for the unknown fall temperatures? Will my clothing hold everything in place? Will there be any chafing? Will be shoes be stable and handle any pronation? So much to think about! Luckily I think I have most the hard parts decided - Panache underwire sports bra (for bigger women, hehe), Reebok high-waisted compression shorts, trusted Flipbelt around my waist, Feetures high-cushion socks, Saucony running shoes. But what I haven't quite figured out is my shirt. I prefer to run in just a sports bra, but that won't work for my bib placement which needs to be visible at all times. I'm trying to figure out the right crop tank that almost feels like I'm not wearing a shirt at all. Not too tight, not too loose. It's nothing I currently own. So I need try a few shirts on the next few weeks to figure out this final piece of the outfit.

In addition to the long runs, I luckily (and intentionally) have an upcoming race, before the marathon, to test out some of these theories - the Staten Island Half on October 8. There, I will practice getting on the Staten Island ferry and making my way to the same area the marathon begins. I can test out some final fueling strategies. And really, I think wear the same exact outfit I plan on wearing on the actual big day.

As I mentally and logistically begin preparing for this week's 18 miler, it's beginning to sink in that the marathon will likely be the biggest accomplishment of my life. More than my college degrees, more than getting married, more than buying a house, more than having children. I'm sure that will get some eyebrow raises, but hear me out.

This is truly the one thing that has been extremely difficult for me to succeed at. It does not come natural to me. I do not have an athletic foundation or background. My genetics are constantly working against me. My weight dictated what spaces I was "allowed" to simply exist in and god-forbid, thrive. My asthma, eczema, and allergies are always crippling me. My postpartum issues shattered my self-esteem and make my body difficult to move in the ways that I want. And my gender objectifies my body, devalues my worth, and determines how much harassment on the road I "deserve" every single time I step out of the house.

A high-school gym teacher told me once that I would never run a mile. Kids laughed at me. I was very close to not passing gym that year until I made my way around that dreaded track four times to complete the mile, walking of course. 

In just a few short weeks, I'm about to run A LOT more than four times around a track. 

Early morning running views - Great South Bay

The cutest pit stop help - Bellport NY

The Countdown + Vacation Exercise

The Countdown 

There's approximately 14 weeks until the NYC Marathon (November 5) and I am well into training. As planned, I maintained my long run through June after coming off the Brooklyn Half. And then I started climbing again when July began. My long runs will continue to climb each week, but like I mentioned before, I've built in a "stepback week" between every long-run to allow for more rest. It's a very elongated training schedule, but I believe (and hope) it will work better for me after my various injuries last year. The traditional plans are usually 18 weeks and I'm doing 25 weeks total. 

Before we left for the Dominican Republic, I completed an amazing 13 miler from Patchogue to Port Jefferson. I felt strong and kept a great pace. I was even able to pick up speed towards the end. I did an extra tenth of a mile for good measure so I could be snarky and say that I ran a Half :-) It felt very bizarre to wake up on a random Thursday in my home and run a Half marathon outside of the context of a proper race. With little prep or adrenaline typically provided through a "real" event.

Another surreal thought is the fact that I will now essentially be setting a new PR distance every week until November. This week's upcoming 14 miler will be a PR. Then 15 miler - new for me. Then 16 miles...so on and so forth. 

And then doubt begins to creep in. When will this feel impossible? When will I hit an unmovable wall? When will I get hurt again? The mental component of running is real and huge. Yes, of course physical training is important. But the mental training and conditioning that's simultaneously happening should not be underestimated. As well as having the self-awareness to know that the feelings of doubt and fear are also normal and part of the process. Acknowledge them - and then tell them to "shut up" as you push forward. "Silenzio Bruno!

Vacation Exercise 

While in the Dominican Republic, we got up early each day to exercise at the hotel gym. It felt good to make that a priority and set the right tone for the day ahead. Drinking, eating, and lounging didn't feel "so bad" after putting the work in. And it gave us energy to do more fun activities throughout the day. It was nice to do it together with Rob - something we rarely do at home since we need to "take turns" in order to cover other responsibilities like the kids and house stuff, while the other person works out.

Have you ever thought "man this treadmill must be broken!". I always think that when I run indoors at home because I'm SO much slower on the treadmill. But the opposite happened on this trip! Because it was all short runs, and I was coming off so much distance running the last few weeks, I was much faster than my "outdoor pace". I felt good, bouncy, and it was easy to hustle through it...or maybe that treadmill was broken too :-)

Taste of Success

If you read my blog this time last year, it was a very different tone. It was pain, defeat, and disappointment. I described what I called a movie scene. Like a gunshot to my leg when I went down running in the last mile of the Brooklyn Half.

This year's Brooklyn Half can also be described as a movie scene. But this time, with a happy, hero, triumphant ending. I couldn't have been more prepared physically and mentally. But still, emotions were a bit shaky with some super high expectations I was placing on myself. And of course, the fear of re-injury. I almost closed my eyes between miles 11-12 so I didn't have to see "the spot" where it happened!  

BUT: nevertheless, she persisted. This year I took Brooklyn by storm. Literally. I ran a strong and consistent race. I was well within my goal pace range. And then around mile 10, I noticed the pacer to my left (the professional that holds a sign who's job it is to run a consistent pace for reference to others). I'm usually in my own little world and don't pay attention to them. But this time I happened to look at the finish time on her sign, and it was better than my Half PR time from 2017. I had to make a decision in that moment. Do I hold my pace? Or do I push to try to set a new PR? I thought about it for a minute or two after I had already passed the pacer. 

Here's where the movie scene comes into play. The sky got really dark and the clouds opened up, letting out what can only be described as buckets of water. You couldn't see one yard in front of you. Eyes were stinging as the sweat from your hair and face now rolled into your eyes. It seems like everyone picked up the pace to finish - so I went for it! I bolted! I also knew I could expect to see Rob and friends when making the last turn from Ocean Parkway onto Surf Ave once at Coney Island. Even more motivation to get there faster. 

I set a new PR (barely, but still a PR!) of 2:12:18. And immediately enjoyed a beer and hot dog once I got out of the very wet finish corral and reunited with the group. 

Accomplishment is an addicting feeling. Less than 24 hrs later, I was a little sore but nothing crazy. Trust the training - it works. My only "injury" was some bruised toes which annoyingly lasted over a week. My guess is once I was running through puddles, my feet were sloshing around my shoes a bunch. 

I didn't have too much time to dwell on my toes though...because less than a week after Brooklyn, I had MURPH at CrossFit. What is Murph? I've done it many years before, but quick refresher for ya'll. 

1 mile Run
300 squats
200 push-ups
100 pull-ups (I do ring-rows on gymnastic rings instead!)
1 mile Run

It's a standard CrossFit "Hero" WOD and likely the most popular worldwide. Thousands of people across the world all do Murph on the same weekend (Memorial Day weekend in the US). Funny enough I had been doing it in Boston for years without realizing that Lieutenant Michael Murph himself was from Patchogue NY, where I live now. Really strange coincidence. Now I notice his name on building and signs everywhere in his memory. 

Last year I had to skip Murph...well, see above: injury coming off the Brooklyn Half. Loss of NYC marathon entry. Sad shell of a person. 

This year my time was 63:05. I was super impressed with my running (DUH). That definitely felt like the best movement versus years past. Even the last run after being super fatigued. It was not my best Murph time overall, but it was a really consistent workout for me. I felt really good the whole time and was happy with my overall strategy to tackle the massive number of reps.

So what's next? MARATHON TRAINING! It's already begun! Actually it never stopped. I decided to maintain a base of 8 miles as my long run coming off Brooklyn for the past 4 weeks. That means, once  a week, I can go out and run 8 miles with no issue. This week was actually my first week of "climbing" with an increase of mileage to 9 miles. I will continue to climb until mid-October where my last long run will be 20 miles, followed by a 2 week taper / rest period before the big day.

My training plan is very detailed and robust, but generally looks something like this:

4 miles
CrossFit
3 miles
REST
10 miles (+1 mile each week)
REST
Cycle / Bike

I'm paying attention to rest more than I ever have before. Sometimes the day after the long run instead of REST, I will incorporate a light Cycle/Bike to help stretch and move, but nothing crazy. I also have some "drop" weeks built into my plan where I don't increase the long run, and actually drop down. This is another form of rest for me. And it allows for "mistakes" like being sick or something personally happening where I need to give myself some grace to get through a tough or unusual period. I'm hoping this design allows me to feel less pressure to perform when the going gets "too" tough. And reduces my chances of injury. 

If you want to help with my marathon training - I'm always looking for folks to leave water outside their front door for me (LOL). No seriously, it's like a fun little game to have the goal to run to and helps me carry less stuff while running.

Have a great summer everyone! Stay active. Be healthy. Drink margaritas. 

Varied Movement + Varied Diet

I've been around friends and family over the years who want to lose weight. For decades, I was always hearing about the latest diet programs. Some are recognizable brands that are now household names (Atkins, Slim Fast, Special K, Weight Watchers, etc.) Involving things like counting points, restrictions, measuring food, and the latest - "intermittent fasting". Then there are the exercise crazes as well. The latest class, club or gym that you must join. I've had a bunch in my day ranging from Tao Bo kicking boxing VHS tapes, Zumba dancing, to present day CrossFit. I've seen people experience some pretty significant weight-loss (including myself), but there's one thing I've witnessed even more - FAILURE. Most people put the weight back on and then some. 

Why does this happen so often? There's nothing inherently "wrong" with any of these methods. But there's one thing all these programs have in common. They're not sustainable. And they don't create reasonable standards towards living a normal, healthy, active life. Rob and I were arguing about this recently. His point was that sometimes people need "rules" (e.g. a program or diet) to jumpstart their weight loss at first. While I can understand that, the failure rate just seems so high to me, that it makes me wonder if that's the wrong approach from the get-go. 

I'm a strong believer that in order to crack the code to live a healthy life, you need to work on your mentality before your physical body. One follows the other. And one is a more powerful tool to reach your long-term goals - which should be good health, happiness, and preventing disease. Not a beach perfect body. Not a pre-pregnancy body. And not some unrealistic ideal that doesn't match your genetic makeup.

It's actually really simple, but requires a ton of patience. I mean A LOT of patience. Possibly years before you see any results. But how many years are wasted trying unsustainable things and failing?

The secret is confidence. And confidence comes from self-love. 

So how do we achieve this? Easy. A lack of childhood trauma, lots of privilege, therapy and drugs :-) Revised for real people: How do I start to tap into self-love? And how do I work on suppressing moments of self doubt, and even worse, self hate. 

It's reaching a point where healthy behaviors are so engrained into your brain that you don't even need to think about it. In a way, it's tricking your brain to be happy. When you can reach a point where you're not worried about numbers and weight, but rather how you feel. 

This is achieved through a simple formula:

Varied movement + Varied diet
With a dash of moderation

I'm not re-writing the book here. Nor am I a doctor or scientist. I'm just providing a layer of my own perspective. I'm not promising you'll be thin, but you'll be happy. 

Varied movement

Find something you really enjoy. Running, cycling, swimming, a specific class. Maybe it's just starting with walking first. Now do that thing a few times a week. If you enjoy it, it should be something you make time for and look forward to. Now fill in the gaps with other activities. Maybe you're lacking a day that gets you out of breath (cardio) or a day that builds strength (like weightlifting). Maybe it's flexibility with something like yoga. 

Keep moving - every day move your body in some way. It's never all or nothing. If your day blows up and you only have 10 minutes to exercise, do 10 minutes. 

Once you get used to these habits (which by the way, can take years), not exercising feels like not eating. You feel sick. You feel awful. It becomes just as natural as planning to eat a meal or showering each day. FYI - it probably took me about 5 years to reach this point. It doesn't come easy or quick, but it does last a lifetime. 

Varied diet

Strive to incorporate a variety of protein, fat, and carbohydrates into your meals. Aim to have less carbohydrates (and sugar) when possible. Aim to have more green vegetables when possible. Seek fresh, local, and organic options when possible. You don't have to break the bank to achieve this. Pick one thing in your fridge to swap out - start small, but start somewhere. Join a CSA at your local farm!

Don't have specific rules or restrictions, but use common sense. If you already had fries this week, maybe sub for a salad the next time around. If you know you're going to have pizza tonight, plan for a healthier lunch. 

To jumpstart a weight loss journey, there ARE simple behavior changes to more quickly reduce your caloric intake without having to do much tracking or worrying. 

• No soda - opt for flavored seltzer instead
• Reduce or eliminate sugars and dairy in coffee
• Reduce or eliminate fast food (if you currently get Taco Bell twice a week, start by reducing it down to once a week)
• Eat a large salad with protein BEFORE you plan to have a carb dish like pasta - it could help reduce your hunger and the need to binge on carbs
• Plan for snacks throughout the day - sometimes it's about eating more good things, instead of just eating less overall
• Reduce alcohol intake - I know, I know. This one kills me too. But I've always found it helpful to think about drinking for quality instead of quantity. Only drink things you really enjoy. Don't drink to get a buzz, drink to enjoy it. As well as avoiding sugary drinks with lots of additives. 
• Swap for whole or multi grain options instead of refined grains
• Look for ways to reduce sugar in the items you're already eating. This is a big one - and sort of sweeping across categories. The perfect personal example I have is yogurt. I've always been a yogurt fan! But I had no idea that most yogurts were practically like eating a dessert. I made the switch to plain Greek yogurt and never looked back. I still add stuff into it, but I can control the amount. It still can taste like a treat, but at a fraction of the calories than the store bought stuff.

I want to be clear that I'm not mocking or judging anyone who's currently pursuing a specific diet. But rather speaking to my experience that if you have to think of it as "a diet", and you find yourself failing often, it might be worth being more patient with yourself and trying a more gentle, self-love focused approach. Through varied movement + varied diet. 

I'm not 100% there yet either. There are moments when I think I got it...but in the end, doubt tends to find a way of creeping in. And I'm really hard on myself. I'm especially hard on myself about my postpartum body. I had two babies. The more weight I lose, the more pronounced my postpartum belly becomes. Without surgery, I'm never going to have a flat belly. I'm not knocking surgery, but for me personally, it feels like it's diminishing my worth as a woman to appeal to a modern societal norm. Good looking women have flat bellies. It would have been better to live in the Renaissance period because those women were thick :-) Do I hide my insecurities and supposed faults? Or do I learn to accept them, dare I say, even embrace them. Am I allowed to wear crop tops because they make me happy, or do I need to wear a baggy sweater in order to not make others uncomfortable about my fat?

Running Updates!!!

Since the last time I wrote, I wrapped up my 9+1 in December with an amazing Ted Corbitt 15K. It was raining pretty hard, but somehow, I took about ten minutes off my expected finish time. I guess I wanted to get out of the rain! With an official time of 1:35:49. But 9 seconds slower than last year (damn puddles!) But I did learn one very valuable lesson about being uncomfortable after a race. For the first time, our hotel was not near Central Park. I ran way too fast, I was wet, and then eventually cold and shivering. It took over an hour to get to back to a warm hotel. It was painful and an awful way to end such a great race experience.

This made me switch my November marathon hotel from being next to the Staten Island ferry in Battery Park in lower Manhattan, to much closer to the finish line near Central Park. 

Upcoming - I'm running Washington Heights Salsa, Blues and Shamrocks 5K again in March (love that course and that neighborhood's energy and music!). And luckily, my application was just accepted to run the Brooklyn Half again this May. As a reminder - that's where I hurt myself badly last year. And had to therefore, pull out of the NYC marathon. 

So many things to look forward to in 2023 and feeling great! 

P.S. I wrote this whole blog post eating cheesecake on the train on the way to Boston :-) 
P.S.S. I will continue to wear crop tops, FUCK OFF :-)