Ready for my New Era

While October was the dress rehearsal, November 1 is opening night - and the main show November 3 is so close. Today I'm packing my bags, going through checklists, laying out all the carefully selected items that have been tested and adjusted over the past few months. I'm looking back through notes from my marathon experience last year to remember things like "oh man that sucked", or "don't forget this!", and "you really didn't need that item." 

Simultaneously, I'm trying to help Rob navigate his own journey through advice and some forceful planning. Though he's annoyingly cool as a cucumber! 

The stress has been real this week. Big time. And funny enough, nothing to do with running. Personal drama and logistics! Oh and did I mention logistics. While the most well organized in the world, the NYC Marathon is complicated. We're fortunate enough to have a hotel room for the next 3 nights in the center of all the action, but it's still complicated. Normally - 9 million residents and 2 million commuters/visitors. Plus an additional 2 million spectating and 55,000 runners. It's crowded! And there's a lot of "be here, at this time, for this thing" over the next few days.

This year in particular, our schedule feels crammed. We have one less night in the city than we usually do because of the way Halloween fell this year and our need to be home with the kids. Consequently, we had to cut a few things out of the schedule. And cram other parts of the schedule to somehow make it all work. I did take off work today even though I had to stay local to prepare, pack, and honestly rest my brain a little. 

The best part of today was getting my marathon nails done. I think it's the only joy I've felt all week amidst the stress, personal drama, and fatigue. Of course, it doesn't actually matter. But it matters to me. Actually a lot. There's something special about doing something so physically demanding and traditionally masculine, while also being highly feminine at the same time. I love that about my personality. And I enjoy celebrating it whenever  I can - even through my crazy marathon nails!

Tomorrow morning we depart for Manhattan. Physically - I'm ready. I have a pacing plan that looks different than last year (my future self will probably laugh at this). I'm really hoping to practice self-control for the first Half of the race. I would love to feel stronger than last year coming off the Queensboro bridge at mile 16. And I would like to not zonk out during miles 22-25 like I did last year. I was so very tired and struggling to move forward. And I hated that feeling.

My training has me projected at a 4:35 finish. But as I've mentioned before, so many things are out of my control for race day vs. the training. 

I keep trying to remind myself that I couldn't run a single mile in September coming off injury. It's nothing short of miraculous how quickly I ramped up and that I'm actually running a marathon feeling this strong. Actually, it wasn't a miracle at all. I worked my ass off. And I had a lot people in my corner helping me medically, helping with the kids, running alongside me, and texts and phone calls of encouragement (I got a bunch today!) 

I've also felt a lot of angst lately that somehow has been fueling me (for better or worse) about past relationships, disappointment, my challenges with faith, and the state of the country. And lots of swirling feelings about betterment, death to old self, and even karma. 

This year my marathon shirt will pay tribute to these recent feelings. You could say, the shirt is going to describe my current "Era".